Thank You, SFCD

"You must recognize the importance of practicing your potential.

If you don't think it's important to work to your fullest extent, you're already in trouble."

I come home tomorrow. I feel like I just tried to drink out of a fire hydrant for four weeks and now I have to go into the drought hoping my gulps of information/motivation will carry me through and keep boosting me toward my goals.

"There is no place for reservation. It's not logical. Return to the fearless child."

Like last time, I'm coming back a new dancer. I have new purpose in what I do. It's rather exciting, really.

"Your choices are: get lucky, work hard, or don't. Those are your choices."

I'm excited to start another year with Theatre Ballet in two weeks! It will be a time of much growth and hard work. I can't wait.

"Practice and Doing What's Comfortable are two separate things.

Don't let yourself get away with doing less."

(quotes from Summer Lee Rhatigan, director at San Francisco Conservatory of Dance... just a few tiny drops from the fire hydrant I drank from)

this is the ad for the show we had this weekend. it was awesome.

Brain Spew

There is so much to say... I literally have not known where to start, so I haven't yet.

I could talk about the beauty of the city coming closer when we drive across the Bay Bridge in the morning or the stunning skyline silhouetted across the bay at sunset.

I could talk about the man who entered the BART train with a real giant snake slung over his shoulders and sat right next to Paige...

I could talk about the overwhelming hospitality of Mitch, Janet, and Sunny dog, and all of Janet's awesome freebies. Along with the charm of Alameda, of course.

I could talk about the Conservatory, the incredible teachers, funny classmates, and odd class exercises we do. Or the giant epiphany I had the other day and how I've come to a new threshold. Or how much a sweat in a 9 hour dance day. mmm.

I could talk about how much I miss my man, what an amazing support he is, and how I couldn't even come close to pursuing my goals without him.

Maybe I could talk about all of these things. Maybe I will. Maybe I should sleep first...

Round Two

Have you ever had a really positive experience or relationship or vacation that once you leave it, you yearn to go back? But when you actually go back to that thing or person or place, you realize it's not a amazing or magical as you once thought it was? Not that ___(whatever it is)___ is less awesome or influential. Just that you perceive it differently.

Maybe it's because whatever it is has changed. Or you have changed. Or you already knew what to expect so the magic is gone.

Funny how that happens.

In other news, I started my first day here at the San Francisco Conservatory of Dance! I'm here for round two of the summer intensive program. Day One was sweaty and sore. I have a feeling there will be many more days like that in the next four weeks...

Back In The Saddle

I got back into teaching today. Like, REAL teaching. Not shepherding/policing bratty little kids who are too young to care about dance. No, I'm talking serious teaching--actual training. And you know what? It felt good.

It's been a long time since I've taught a a class full of dancers who are motivated and focused. I lost sight of why I love to teach. So, I took a much-needed break from teaching dance. That is, until tonight when I subbed a couple classes for my friend.

I admit, I was a little nervous about it. But once the class got rollin, it felt just like old times. The good old times, not the bad old times. I think the students enjoyed the class too. They stayed with me and were sweating at the end (a sure sign they were working hard!).

I'm relieved about all this because I start teaching private lessons tomorrow. I've also had a few job offers for the fall too. It's good to be back into the teaching swing of things again. Someday I'll fill you in on why teaching is important to me, but that is for another post.

(I used to teach cute little nuggets like these girls and loved it.)

Live Performance Thrills Me And I'll Tell You Why

Whether you're watching someone perform what they love to do, or you are the actual performer, you are sucked into this new, thrilling dimension.

To be completely encompassed, totally focused and zoned-in on what you are doing--what you are creating--is a powerful feeling known only to those who have put their whole soul into creating art.

( The Passion of Dance - Drew Jacoby)

Although this can be experienced in an intimate setting (like a painter quietly bringing life to a canvas), there is something to be said about performing in front of an audience. I just witnessed a concert where amazing musicians became totally engrossed in their music-making. It was exciting to witness their passion and it was equally exciting to see and feel the audience feed off that passion.

( Fictionist )

That connection between performer/artist and audience member is one of my favorite things about dancing. Giving the viewers (or listeners) a little view inside your soul and sharing with them your passion for your art form--even for a brief moment--is exhilarating and extremely fulfilling for me.

Facing Freaky Fears

The other day, I helped out my amazing dancer/photographer friend Jocelyn with one of her final projects for school. She is quite talented and has some really interesting concepts.

For this photo shoot, she wanted to find a abandoned building. So we headed on down to Thistle, UT, the town that was destroyed by flash-floods and mudslides....

I have grown up driving through that tiny stretch of road while going to my friend's cabin, and EVERY TIME we drove by those half-submerged houses or those graffiti-ed remains I got the creeeeeeeeeps.

So it was a big deal for me to face my fears and do that photo shoot (bare-footed or pointe-shoed). We took two rolls of film, but I've only actually seen two photos, both of which you see here.

This is a completely flattened house, still sitting on the hillside. Yes, I am positioned right in the middle. On the house. Barefoot. --->

<--- The other one is a run-down brick building, covered in graffiti and trash. Also, there was a smooshed car like right next to me. (uncomfortable squirm...)

Other dangerous activities that I probably shouldn't mention because my mother reads this blog include: climbing a wall and standing/balancing/arabesque-ing on top of it, traipsing around the building in flip-flops because Genius here didn't think through things all the way, delicately tip-toeing my way through glass, nails, and other mysterious objects to get to the desired photo spot, walking on a collapsed house (wood with slivers or nails sticking out, spiders crawling, not sure if it would hold my weight or not...). You get the idea.

Because of the adventures, Jocelyn got some really cool shots. Thanks for letting me help you out Joce! Even if it seems silly, I certainly feel braver and more adventurous because I faced my childhood creepers.

Choreo Graphy

I thought I would share with you my latest choreographic endeavor. This piece was for the Theatre Ballet Student Choreographic Projects we do at the end of the year. It's a great opportunity to have your own little workshop with talented dancers to experiment and grow as a choreographer.

I explain the concept of the piece in the intro, but basically it is about the dancers finding their individuality in dance and figuring out the way they love to move. They start as a machine, very rigid and mechanical. Then there are glitches, and pretty soon they explode into their own individual styles (all improv on their part).

Props to the dancers, most of which have only done ballet their whole lives. It was very different for them to move like that, but they grew a lot and I was proud of them (especially for the limited rehearsal time we had).

Enjoy "System Error" and feel free to leave suggestions or comments

(whether you're a dancer or not! Non-dancers have to be able to enjoy it too, you know)!

System Error

Touring

Theatre Ballet toured this year in AZ. We spent 10 days performing, doing outreaches, eating lots of food, and riding on a bus. It was especially awesome for me this year because Peter was able to come along and help out with tech stuff. Here's a little taste of tour:

(Stepsistas)

(Pete lookin studly)

(We visited both the Mesa and the Snowflake temples)

Slightly Amused, Slightly Confused

During our Sleeping Beauty Pas rehearsal tonight, Suzi told me that although Aurora is a princess, and it's her wedding day, she is also 16 years old. She said I needed to increase the giddiness of a 16 year old...but still act like a regal princess....

Hmmmm

Switching Gears

Opening Night: success!

Children's Matinee: even better success!

As for tonight? I must set aside my wand and wings for awhile...

It's time to switch gears:

Ideas

Ideas for choreography come at me in strange ways... Sometimes I toy with a song or idea for months (or years) before I actually get a solid, formed concept. Many of those are still pending...

Sometimes I get slapped upside the face with an idea out of the blue. And in the weirdest places too. One day at church, I scribbled ideas all over the program. I wrote like a maniac because they just kept coming. And when inspiration hits you, you have to record it before it's gone.

Student Choreographic Project Proposals are coming up for my ballet company. This means I need to narrow down my options....

...but it's really hard.

Here's the piece I contributed last year: "Intake"

Music: "Gobbldigook" by Sigur Ros

I was pleased with it but I'm excited to try something new and apply the things I've learned since I set this piece.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150197002100204

A Fascinating Phenomenon

Isn't it funny how as soon as other people see potential in you (and let you know about it) then you start to believe in yourself? You start to feel like you have potential too? This happens to me in dance a whole lot. As soon as I feel like someone believes in me, I get the boost I need to fuel the fire of self-confidence and continue, renewed, toward my goals.

*of course I believe in myself to some degree. I would have quit long ago had I not felt the burning desire to succeed. side-note ended.*

I just think it's an interesting phenomenon that happens in my life, but especially in dance. For example. I am not the stereotypical stick-thin, delicate ballerina. I used to feel like this would hinder me in future auditions or opportunities because I'm not the "standard body-type." That is, until a friend on my company told me that I reminded her of Sofiane Sylve (a powerful, strong professional dancer from France):

photo from dance.net

*That's not to say that I dance like her. I am a far, far cry from her precision and expertise. end side-note again.*

She is powerful and strong, not a fragile bone-rack. The potential my friend saw in me gave me the confidence boost I needed.

The questions I have now are... why can't we see our own potential? Why do we refuse to see what we can become until someone else tells us? Imagine how amazing we could be if we would just get out of our own way and let ourselves flourish...